At best, being a parent is one of life's greatest joys, but at worst it can become a complete misery. So why is this? Stress is a key factor, and whilst a lot of stress can can be linked to personal circumstances, a significant source of added stress is the pressure to conform to some other person's concepts of how to be a parent. These are often based on outdated regimes and traditions that are no longer compatable with a modern lifestyle. This leaves many of us who try (but fail) to do what we are told is "the right thing" feeling that our natural ability to parent has been undermined. So rather than being helped, we become confused and unsure what to do for the best - even questioning our ability to parent. Hardly the best frame of mind to meet the many challenges that having a child brings.

Our first advise is to follow your instincts. If you are happy with what you are doing, and your baby is thriving, then why worry? Despite what many of us think, the human species is still part of the animal kingdom, and we have very good natural instincts, though too many people try to tell us we don't and that their way is better. However, the reason and motivation for having children has changed over the centuries (see Sebastian Kraemer's article, Resilence), and we now have choice in many parts of our lives where we didn't previously, which isn't always such a good thing. Even when things are going well, we tend to seek reassurance from others, and if things are not going so well we are even more likely to seek advise.

So why listen to what we have to say?
Because we hope you will find what we provide helpful, informative and reassuring. We encourange everyone to observe their new baby and recognise his or her qualities. Each baby is born a unique individual with their own strengths and weaknesses, and the greatest joy is in discovering this. It is not possible to apply a "one-hat-fits-all" approach to babies, and every 'how to' parenting book on the market will only work if your baby is exactly the same personality as the book suggests. If it works for you, then fine, but if not, put the books away, try to step back and observe what your baby is communicating to you. You will be surprised.